Breaking Off a 23 Year Relationship

Over the weekend, I broke off one of my longest relationships.  I’m not sure if this is permanent or whether I’ll go back to him but I finally did it after being urged for years by my family and close friends.  The truth is, I don’t even think he knows that he was dumped, but eventually he will realize it and since he’s pretty clingy, I’m sure he will call me to talk it out.

I’ve been with the same dentist for 23 years.  In those 20 years, he has fixed numerous cavities (it’s not an exaggeration to say about 20 times), had 3 root canals and one crown done.  It may not sound like it’s a lot in a span of 23 years if you average it out, but most were done in the past 10 years when I started having… dental benefits.

I feel duped and taken advantage of especially when my family kept telling me that it’s odd how every teeth cleaning, he finds something to fix.  It was just recently that he planted the seed by telling me my tooth is cracked and that I would need a crown to fix it.  I asked my questions and every answer he gave me pointed towards – the crown is the only solution.  That was probably the most expensive job he’s done on me, maybe not as much as all my root canals and follow ups combined though.

I’ve been thinking about not going for check ups as often as I’ve been going because everytime I go, there IS always something. So I tried to leave after one appointment but his receptionist wife would give me the next appointment date before I could set another foot past her desk.  As hard as I make my excuses for not being available, she would make sure to give me a date and call her if I really couldn’t make it.  I couldn’t even get away with ‘I’ll go home, check my schedule and call you back.’   At my last appointment, she stepped away from her desk and I managed to get the other receptionist (who normally does not handle the apppointment stuff) to cancel my upcoming 3 appointments (that’s how chained I am to them) for the rest of the year.  I told the other receptionist that I would call back to reschedule and left knowing that I had no intention of doing that.  I felt guilty for doing this all the way home.

On the other hand, maybe I do have bad teeth and if I were with another dentist, I would still need to do the same work. Because right now, I am feeling some sort of separation anxiety, I’m afraid of what will happen if a filling falls out, or if there’s an emergency.  As much as I dislike how much unneccessary work I have done, my dentist has made time for me whenever an emergency arises.  I’m just so afraid that if something happens, no one else will see me.

There’s a part of me that wants to stay strong and move on and there’s another part that wants to call him first thing tomorrow to apologize and beg for him to take me back.

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Posted on June 19, 2011, in Life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. My cousin is a dentist, if looking for a new one. He’s as honest and patient as can be.

    Gimme shout if looking for a new one.

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